What does it mean to be Malaysian? Well, while many people have different interpretations of being a Malaysian, it's ultimately the quirky little things that only Malaysians can relate to, and are nationally recognized as "Malaysian". 

Here are 11 things which would (probably) make you a true Malaysian. While there are many, many reasons out there, I only chose 11 because Malaysia gained its independence 56 years ago today, and 5+6=11. Boom! Maths!

#11 Traffic jams are the only jams you eat

Because strawberry jam is too mainstream. Also, check this comic by Jian "Miao" Goh on traffic jams: http://www.akiraceo.com/2013/08/05/6715/

#10 Everyone is somehow related to you

"Hey bro! Long time no see wei! How are you, bro?"
"Hello uncle, auntie. How are you?"
"Kak, ais krim satu."
"Eh bang, kasi lepas lah. First kali I kena stop ni."

#9 You mix 3 or more languages in one sentence, or invent a new one on the fly

"Ei macha, when you want come out yum cha lah? Damn penat I tunggu you wei."
"Eh bro, don't mempersiasuikan me can ah?"

#8 You hang out at the mamak a lot.


Maggi goreng + roti telur bawang besar washed down with a few teh o ais or limau ais at 2AM? Steady lah bro.

#7 You have more national holidays than other countries.

Hari Raya, Chinese New Year, Deepavali, Agong's birthday...there are endless possibilities.

#6 You love to complain. About everything.

"Traffic light spoiled, stupid people don't fix it."
"Walao, roti canai raised 50 cent? You rob me better lah."


"Wahseh, stupid guy don't know how to drive wan, simply cut in."
"What toilet got no toilet paper wan?"

#5 Panadol solves all your problems.

Headache? Panadol.
Fever? Panadol.
Stomach ache? Go pangsai lah walao.

#4 Your usage of Malaysian slang is not forced, but natural.

"Walao what nonsense you talking lah, bro?"

#3 You are willing to go the extra mile for something that is "free"...

Literally, because the line of people usually stretches out for a mile.

#2 ...but don't hesitate to fork out RM15 for a cup of coffee at Starbucks

Because it's more high class wei. Damn worth it.

#1 You cannot resist Milo trucks

No matter what you're doing, or how old you are, when you see a Milo truck, you drop everything and run towards it. No questions asked.


Do you relate to any of these 11 things above? If you do, you're probably a true Malaysian at heart. Through all our quirks, we're still able to relate to all these as we celebrate the uniqueness of being truly Malaysian.

Perhaps you have something Malaysian you would like to share as well. Leave a comment below! Have a happy Merdeka Day everyone!


Cheerios!

Done? Fantastic. This is a great failed marriage proposal video because a) no one's getting married and b) it's absolutely hilarious. But what did the guy do wrong? He had everything perfectly set up, from the musicians to getting down on one knee. There are numerous marriage proposal examples on the Internet which have ended in success. Why then did he fail?

So let's get down to dissecting the video slowly to see why the poor man failed.

The musicians

When you're preparing a proposal and want to employ musicians to set the mood, make sure you hire professionals. The musicians in the video are clearly unprepared for this. Mr Ukelele has a tambourine hooked inside his arm. Note: One of them isn't even holding any instrument until it's too late into the proposal to matter.

This cleaner...


...clearly doesn't give a shit. About anything except to make sure that floor is sparkling clean.

The numerous references to pie

When proposing to your girlfriend in front of a huge crowd in the shopping mall, remember to cut down on references to food. The guy calls his lady love "sweetie pie" and "cutie pie" and I think I heard "apple pie" *citation needed* thrown into the mix too too. It's a proposal, dude, not a McDonald's. Like Professor Oak always said, there's a time and place for everything.

The train


The train was THE highlight of the entire video because it obviously didn't give a hoot about what was going on. Filled with passengers who obviously didn't know how to care about his "lovely proposal", and with its own brand of  train music to cover up the band's music, the poor guy was thrown off his game. Plus, you know any proposal will end in tears when a Cadbury train drives into your frame and spells out "Not. So. Sweet." on the side of its carriages.


The Bruno Mars lyric ripoff


The guy claims to have prepared a poem for his lady love, but his opening line is a blantant ripoff from Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are". His next line was clearly paraphrasing Bruno Mars' "Grenade" and the rest was pilfered from various Hallmark greeting cards.

The ukelele


The ukelele is a fantastic instrument; it's lightweight, plays upbeat tunes and can be used to smash your head in. Don't have a ukelele anywhere nearby if you're planning to propose to your lady love.


The woman filming

The woman filming the entire debacle is amazing. Her hands were steady throughout, and even when the guy goes down by ukelele, her hand shudders for only a split second before her camera continues to take in every look of humiliation, pain and regret plastered on the guy's face.


She ends the video on a high note though, a note of possible hope for the man crushed by the rejection and a ukelele; "Are you okay? I really thought it was sweet."

Here's to a happy ending to you and your lady friend filming, dude. Don't give up on love.

Cheerios! 

Take a wild guess who cried. 

He also proved his impromptu songwriting skills by rewriting the very rock 雙截棍 into a reasonably more mellow piece on the spot. I always knew that Jay Chou was good at music, but seeing all of that live was simply another kind of experience altogether.