5 Tips to be the Perfect Lightbulb


Despite my clearly awesome personality, chiseled good looks and amazing hair, I have been living the high life of a single man for the past...3 years or so? I can't remember. In these 3 years of the bachelor life, I've seen almost all my closest friends all get into relationships (with one of them even getting engaged!).

I say this because I've literally been there throughout some of my couple friends' best and most intimate moments. Yes, if I haven't already made it sufficiently clear to you. I am the third wheel, the lightbulb, the extra one, among my group of friends.6/10/2015

But this isn't one of those "Oh, I'm so sad because I'm single and I always have to lightbulb my friends" kind of posts. Nope, this post is going to be informative and helpful to those of you who may be going through the same thing. Because when you're a lightbulb, the last thing you need is to feel sorry for yourself. Believe me when I say I know exactly what I'm talking about.

So here are a few tips for you lightbulbs out there, to show people that our lifestyle is by choice, and not because Becky turned around and FFK-ed our date and Becky could have prevented this BECAUSE I HAVE FEELINGS TOO BECKY.

I digress.

#5 Turn yourself on

Don't be that guy who sits quietly in the background while the happy couple is romancing each other. Instead, try to join in the conversation. Talk to your friend's other half, engage them in meaningful talk and just be sociable. Your friend and their partner will appreciate you for the effort you're making.

#4 Know your boundaries

Being friendly is one thing. Being creepy is a whole other ballgame. Don't overdo your friendliness and make your friend jealous because of the attention you're showering on their other half. Plus, and this is true, if you're getting a little too close for comfort, you may even risk losing your friendship.

Take things slow, know your boundaries. Light only travels so far. Stick to that.

#3 Learn all you can

Being the lightbulb lets you see things that normal single people don't. You're so involved in  your friend's relationship with his significant other that you will undoubtedly learn something new, something that you can use for when you have a significant other yourself. There's a reason we all go to school, right?

Take this time with your couple friends as a relationship class, and you'll graduate with flying colors when you step out into the real world of dating.

#2 Do anything you want

When you're lightbulbing a couple, the best thing you can possibly do for yourself is to be completely yourself. There isn't anyone who can tell you not to have that 5th helping of ice cream, or dragging you to see cosmetic products even when you don't know the difference between eyeliner and mascara. You can do whatever you want...just, alone.


#1 Keep telling yourself that you'll find The One some day

Yup. Just keep...telling yourself...that someone...will be there for...you. But not you Becky. Anyone but you. You can go suck a lemon.

I'm going to cry in a corner now. You other lightbulbs are welcome to join me.


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