The 5 Stages of Grief (When Doing Assignments)


Sometimes, the idea for a new blog post eludes me. In the more serious cases, even showers don't help, and sitting on the 'royal throne' only gives me leg cramps. It is during moments like this that I resort to the classic Hollywood method of churning out a new blog post for all to enjoy. I scour and scan through all my old blog posts, give it a gritty reboot and market it as a brand new idea.
Which gave me the idea for this blog post. I've written about the 5 stages of grief before, in the wordy form and in a fairly emo comic form. This was about 3 years ago when I actually still had a girlfriend and could use the 5 stages of grief model to portray my teenage angst. 3 years later, I'm about as close to having a girlfriend as Tom is to catching Jerry and all the teenage angst has been pried away by the cold, slimy fingers of old age.

3 years ago, I was a child who knew nothing about the harsh realities of life. 3 years later, I have grown up to be a man-child who knows about a bit more about the world, but pretends not to. While many of my friends have moved on into the working world, I remain as a student; blissfully living out my final year as a student, free from all the stress of a working adult. I love everything there is to love about being a student.

Except for all the assignments. I freaking hate assignments.

The very fact that I'm sitting here and typing this blog post is proof enough that I live in a state of constant denial. I mean, I'm not even sure when my assignment is due, or how many assignments we have to finish up this semester. My first few weeks back in uni are spent huddled in a corner, repeating the mantra "I put the Ass in Assignments." In fact, if my assignment isn't done at the last minute, it's definitely not done by me.


Procrastination is one of the key aspects of bargaining. You've heard of a bargaining chip, used in the utmost important moments to win a bargain. I usually use a wide array of excuses as bargaining chips, to make offers with myself. 'I'll do the assignment today, right after I take a 15 minute nap.' or 'I'll finish that assignment today, but ooh, futsal.' My all time favorite is 'Tomorrow's another day.'

There comes a point in time when I absolutely cannot take it anymore. I simply cannot live with the knowledge that my assignment holds me like a ball and chain. The knowledge that my entire study life hinges on not failing my assignments, coupled with the constant bargaining I do with myself just adds on the guilt factor. The very thought of having something hanging over me like a dark omnious cloud of doom is enough to make me lose my sanity. Help. Me.

Yup. I might as well finish up this blog post because I'm probably not going to finish my any of my assignments anyways.

I would say Cheerios, but it's not very cheery when I'm dead.

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