An Open Letter to McDonald's Malaysia


Dear McDonald's Malaysia,

Hi there. Let's not be too formal, after all, you're reading this post from a blog which has a header of a guy trying to walk across water. So yes, this blog (and this writer) usually doesn't take anything seriously. So let me tell you a short little story before we get down to the main point of this open letter.

There are people who have their lazy days. Lazy days are those days in which one simply does not want to do anything at all. Lazy days are those days that you wake up at noon, shuffle around the house in pajamas, refuse to shower, and generally be at home (both literally and figuratively speaking). It's okay though; everyone deserves a lazy day once in a while.

I had my lazy day on the Saturday of the Merdeka weekend. Now, on my lazy days, I generally dislike going out at all, preferring instead to bathe in the unique stench of my pajamas and unwashed hair. And I love to binge on the food of the people on lazy days, because if I'm dressed for the part, why not eat like the part as well?

So on Merdeka Saturday, a lazy day, I had a sudden major hankering for McDonald's. This is not a new phenomenon, as I give in to my fast food cravings at least once a week. My fast food cravings hit faster than a bolt of lightning attacks Jefferson's kite. What I didn't know was that I had to embark on one of the most perilous journeys to get said meal, and was still left disappointed by your McDelivery.

Let me clear something up. When I say that I had to go on a "perilous" journey to eat McDonald's, that's a clear statement that something is wrong. McDonald's is one of the most accessible fast food restaurants in the WORLD. McDonald's outlets don't require the hard work of "construction"; they just magically pop up overnight. In KL, almost every corner is dominated by a McDonald's. You have 2 outlets located on opposite sides of the road at Mutiara Damansara, just so people don't have to cross the road to get their McDonald's fix.. I've seen a McDonald's outlet on the winding trunk roads to Sepang, in the middle of nowhere.

As pictured.

My point is, McDonald's outlets are freaking everywhere. Let's move on.

See, I live in Sungai Long, often described as a hole in the middle of nowhere. But, Sungai Long is only about 10 minutes away from the nearest McDonald's outlet (your Bandar Tun Hussien Onn outlet). 10 minutes. To put things into perspective, this McDonald's outlet is nearer than the only major hospital, so that's really saying something. And yet, it seems like no one told your McDelivery system, because I found out that you don't do delivery to my house. 

PANDU LALU LAH! - Asian Ronald McDonald.

Yes. Let me recap this absurdity for you. Despite only being 10 minutes away, you don't do McDelivery to my house. There are family-run cafes situated further away than you who would deliver food to my very doorstep. Instead, you would rather a hungry, desperate customer hop into his car, drive the 10 minutes to said McDonald's outlet and get stuck in line at the drive-through, just to get his fix of a nice burger, fries and a Coke. All in his pajamas and greasy, messed up hair. It is precisely on days like these that I don't want to see or talk to anyone, even if he/she is doing it through an intercom and passing me my food from a window. 

Especially if that someone is Ken Wooi

I know this seems very much to be a first world problem, but I just find it absurd that despite us only being 10 minutes apart, you still aren't willing to come come fulfil my basest desires. To quote one of my friends; "I don't know what I'd do without McDelivery." This doesn't ring true for me, because I never had a chance to experience McDelivery for myself. And it's all because you guys were never willing to try. 

So please, please, please McDonald's Malaysia. Could you do something about this? 

A Kid who has a lot of Lazy Days 

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